Miss you

I miss Travis.

   Not in the "oh I wish I could see him" sort of way, but the "what am I supposed to do without him" way. Yesterday, when he left to go home for the week, I literally wandered around my apartment for about ten minutes not knowing what to do. Then I spent the next couple of hours on the couch in a catatonic state until I finally decided to get up and get some food.

   After a long shower and an episode of Fear Factor, I headed upstairs to get ready for bed. At 9:30. I wasn't just bored, I was lonely. And there is such a difference between the two! It isn't that Travis and I usually do exciting things- we don't- but curling up on the couch just isn't the same when you're alone. There were no conversations, no jokes, no smiles or hugs. It was just me and my blanket. I finally found a book and spent an hour or so reading before I went to sleep. That's the only thing that saved me from the silence inside my head.

   Just to be clear, I am not throwing myself a pity party. I am not one of those girls that can't be alone or that has no sense of independence. I am just so spoiled with his company. In a day or so I will find productive things to pass the time- my closet needs cleaning out and my bookshelf needs sorting- but right now it's weird.

   I never stay here alone. If he goes home, I either go with him or go home myself. It's a strange feeling knowing he isn't next door. And the whole thing is made worse by the fact that almost everyone else I know has gone home for the break, too.

   So, needless to say, I will be very glad to see him next Tuesday when we go to Tupelo for Christmas. I am counting down the hours.