I hope everyone can be as lucky as I am.

After having attended all of my classes once now, I have come to a conclusion: I miss McCool Hall.

I miss the atrium, the classrooms (specifically 232), the location, the students, and of course the windows. See, I work in the grad school in Allen hall and there are no windows. My graduate classes are on the 2nd floor – no windows there either. I pull up the junction cam when I want to know if it’s raining outside. It’s just not a good situation.

Despite the fact that Allen is a 70’s-style eyesore, the thing I miss most about McCool is having Travis in my classes. We’ve had almost every class together for the last few semesters, and I miss it. I had someone to sit with and a built in study buddy. Plus, now when it is homework/study time, it means separate apartments, separate rooms, and separate assignments instead of sitting on the same couch coming up with fun ways to remember information.

But I’m glad we’re both still here, living next door to each other in the hollow for our 5th and final year as MSU students. Who knows where this year will take us, and where we'll be this time next year? There are lots of decisions to be made from now until then, which is a main reason I decided to document it all through this blog. I'm excited to start a new, exciting year.
Even if it is in Allen.

Tuesday

 When I was in elementary and middle school, Tuesday was my absolute favorite day of the week. Tuesday was the day I had dance lessons. Now before you go thinking that you didn't know I could dance, I can't. While I did enjoy gymnastics, I was never what you would consider a "good" dancer. The main reason I was so vigilent about these dance lessons was because of Ellen. And Sara. And Kelly. And the list goes on. I was there to socialize with my friends. My experience mainly consisted of laughing and joking between learning each new step and while waiting for our turn to throw a back-hand-spring. 
   Maybe if I'd actually been comitted to the activity instead of sticking it out through 8th grade cheerleading, who knows, I might have amounted to something. But as it was, I thought the fun times were more important, and 8 years later the only thing I've done that resembles dancing was as a Rockette in DG's theme night. And I suppose that was because of my height. Though I wouldn't go back and trade in those classes for anything. I'll always have the memories of Sara trying not to laugh during her routine, and turning Ellen's dad's jeep into a roller coaster on the way home.

Here goes nothing

So I made it through my first two education courses this summer with A’s. If these first two preparatory courses are any indication of the level of difficulty I will face over the next year, I don’t foresee having any problems making more A’s. Maybe it’s because I’ve spent the last few semesters bent over statistical equations calculating weights of stocks in a diversified portfolio and adjusting the capital asset pricing model to fit different corporate situations. I welcome the change not only because I am no longer twisting my brain into knots, but because now my classes are actually going to be preparing me for what I plan to do for the rest of my life.

I found out last week that I passed my Praxis II- Math test! This is exciting because the test consisted of a lot of calculus that I haven’t had in a while. My advisor said I scored higher than most Math Education students who take it. This is a little hard to believe, but I was proud. Classes started last Wednesday, but the only one I’ve had so far is pre-calculus. I need another math course in order to do my teaching internship in math, so I’m taking the easiest one that will count. Thursday we covered the real number line: how zero is in the middle, negative numbers to the left, positive numbers to the right, arrows at the end, you know the one. If I don’t make an A in that class I am giving permission to anyone and everyone to make fun of me. My first real class is tonight from 5 to 7:50. I’m dreading my night classes this semester, but I’m excited to get started. Tonight it is Principles of Effective Instruction. I’m not sure what it’s about, I’m just hoping we don’t play those get-to-know-you games I’ve been warned about from other education majors.

So I finally ease into grad school, hoping to come out on the other side a brighter, more well-rounded person and teacher. Here goes nothing.

Off to grad school...

As a college freshman, having still not chosen a major, I knew I wanted to do something both impressive and demanding. Despite frequent urges during my high school years from family members to become a teacher, and possibly due to my naivety, education was the first degree concentration eliminated. For a career to be impressive it should be glamorous and unpredictable- neither of which I believed could describe an educator. Thus, after delving into numerous options, I chose to major in business, which would open the door to endless possibilities.

Over the past four years at Mississippi State University, my studies in business have been the focus of my interest, but not of my passion. Concentrations in finance and insurance have offered rather lackluster insights into my future. The potential to make competitive decisions and ample amounts of money seemed very lacking and uninspiring. Through some contemplation and debate, and after becoming a leader on campus, I made the decision to become a teacher. While in business I may be able to change my life, in education, I can change the lives of others.

            I grew up as the granddaughter to one of my hometown’s most esteemed English teachers. As such, and much to the delight of my grandfather, I always spoke noticeably more grammatically correct than my friends. I also learned the refined art of clarifying thoughts and ideas through words. I developed a talent for understanding others, identifying unspoken concerns, and explaining problems in a simple way. Granddaddy always told me I would be a wonderful teacher in any subject I had an interest in.

            My first real opportunity to exercise my “teaching” skills came in August of 2009. Selected to be a Gamma Chi, I was in charge of twenty entering freshmen girls who were going through sorority recruitment. I was to be their leader, confidant, and guide through a very emotional, confusing process. Each morning I explained how the day would develop, addressing more serious issues as the week went on, and then waited to be bombarded with trivial questions. Of course not every girl is especially vocal, so it was not uncommon to be pulled aside for a “what if I don’t get what I want?” or a “what if I can’t afford it?” query. I formed a fast, close relationship with this group, and by the end of the week I wanted nothing more than for each of them to be happy.

On Saturday, nineteen of the twenty girls pledged a sorority of their choosing. Rachel, the only girl who did not pledge, thanked me for encouraging her to continue through the process, as she had made many new friends. My experience as a Gamma Chi was deeply rewarding on a level I had not expected. I surprised myself just how quickly I formed an invested interest in each of these girls. It was then that I began to consider a career where I could do this every day.

            Later that semester, I was selected to work with the Department of Admissions and Scholarships as an Orientation Leader, and in late April, I participated in my first orientation. As twenty-five eager high school seniors filed into my presentation room, they looked at me with both hope and apprehension. It was my job to ease their worries, to familiarize them with the university, and to equip them with the information essential to success in their first year. I felt a certain comfort with this responsibility, and was confidently equipped with the answers they needed. Throughout the day, I bonded with these young students who, though only a few years younger than I, looked to me as a distinguished mentor. Today, I still receive messages and emails from these students with trusting questions about the workings of campus life. This experience truly awakened my desire to serve and made clear the capabilities which can arise simply by serving others.

            After this first orientation, I had no doubt as to the new course of my prospective education, and began researching graduate education programs. I had peace of mind as I had finally realized my career aspiration to teach.  To say I was excited to declare my decision to my family during my next trip home would be an understatement. I knew they all, especially my grandfather, would be happy to hear the news.

            About two weeks later, I received the unbearable news from my mother- Granddaddy had suffered a hemorrhage in his brain from which he would never recover. The next day I stood in hospital room 505 under my father’s arm and watched as the doctor unplugged my grandfather’s life support machine. As I mourned the sudden loss of such a great man, friend, and role model, I couldn’t help but grieve for the unspoken conversation about my future. Of all the life moments he would now miss, I lamented that he would never see me follow in his footsteps as an educator.

            I did not grow up with a dream to teach. Nor did I focus my undergraduate studies on such. However, through eye-opening leadership experiences, and with the guidance of a loved one, I finally realized my passion for teaching others. In the Mississippi State University graduate school, I hope to receive my Masters of Arts in Teaching- Secondary. As a teacher, I hope to convey not only important subject matter, but life lessons that will stay with students long after class. Though I can only hope to leave an honored, long-lasting legacy like that of my grandfather, for his sake, and for the sake of my future students, I will try.